How did I get here you ask? Well God has done some spectacularly amazing things in my life that has all worked together to bring me to this point and to glorify Him. I grew up in a Christian home, and we went to church every Sunday. But as a child I had FAITH in God. I had such faith in Him, that he used me to miraculously heal a man from my church as a 4 year old.
However, el diablo did not like this and so he concocted a scheme for what he thought would destroy my family and our faith...which it very nearly did. I am the oldest of 5 children. There is me, my younger brother Caleb, then Corban, and lastly Chad and Katy. When Corban Jonathon was born, God told my parents to name him so for a reason. Corban (found in Mark 7:11) means "a gift to God" and Jonathon means "a gift from God". He and I got along great, even better than Caleb and I did. This was why it hurt so much when he died of SIDS (crib death) 4 1/2 months later. But as God had named him "a gift to God", my parents knew from the beginning that God would take him for His glory. They just didn't expect it to happen so soon. This event really tore my family up. My dad buried himself in his work and had fits of severe anger, my mother went into a period of depression, I lost my faith in God to do anything because he had taken away my innocent little brother, and my other brother Caleb (who was just 2 at the time and has ADHD) started going berzerk. My family had been bike riding a few days before, and my mom had accidentally crashed with Corban strapped to her back, so Caleb thought in his young mind that it was my mom's fault that Corban had died. (We actually had Corban autopsied and it was proven that it wasn't her fault because she was worried about that too.) But Caleb didn't tell anybody about that till much later. Anyways, so my parents started spending a large amount of their time just trying to keep Caleb under control, and they still had no idea why he was so rebellious against my mom. They took him to counselors and a regular basis and were spending an enormous amount of time with him. But here I was, mister calm cool and collected but being in utter turmoil inside. My parents only saw the facade I put up so they thought I was alright and focused on Caleb. Needless to say, I was sorely neglected. I don't blame my parents, but that is just what happened. So I started acting out in school and things trying to get my parents, especially my dad, to notice me. With my dad's anger issues that didn't help at all. This continued as the years went by, but eventually God got ahold of my parents hearts and got their lives turned around. I was still horribly rebellious and I didn't even try in school. I had been told that I was stupid by my teachers and everyone else because I was trying so hard to get people to notice me. So I didn't even think that I was smart at all because that was all I had ever been told. In 8th grade my teacher Mrs. Regier really helped to open me up to the world of learning. I started pulling straight A's in math and English and it was easy for me! I was so surprised I didn't know what to do with myself. But I still had this rebellion against my parents eating away my heart. This culminated in me going to jail twice and being on probation for a while.
So that is all of the bad that came out of Corban's death, but his name was not only "a gift TO God" but also "a gift FROM God". My family used the money from the life insurance policy we had on Corban to build a medical clinic at the Roca Blanca Missions Base where I now live as a Bible school student and ultimately as a missionary. The Corban Clinic has served over 80,000 people over the 14 or so years it has been here. Many of those people have accepted Jesus into their hearts because of the ministry that goes on there.
One year at my churches winter camp, God told me clearly that I was to go into missions, specifically I was to go to Roca Blanca in Mexico. So I started taking Spanish classes and found that God had really blessed me with a gift for languages. I started Spanish 1 in the middle of the year and was completely caught up and ahead of the class in 2 weeks. God has absolutely prepared me with the tools I need to live on the missions field. During this time however, my heart was still not right with God.
In 2007, one of the best influences on my life at my old school, Bradford, was killed in a car crash. He was just a few weeks away from graduating his senior year, and he was one of the most respected spiritual leaders that I have ever met. He truly had a servants heart.
In June, my friend Kelsey was kidnapped, raped, and murdered. She and I had been best friends when we were little at the Vineyard in Overland Park. She also was one of the most kindhearted people I knew.
The thing that impacted me the most was that I had very little emotional reaction to either of these deaths. So I turned to God, I asked Him 1. why had He allowed these 2 wonderful people to die, and 2. why couldn't I feel anything anymore. I had made myself so distant, and so detached from my emotions to "protect" myself from all the hurt I had experienced in my life. God showed me that, and I realized I had to do something drastic to fix that. So God reminded me of the call to missions He had put in me, and also how spiritually influential the people are at Roca Blanca. He told me to go to the Spanish Academy here for a month so that I could further my Spanish, but also find some answers about myself and God.
My Savior really got ahold of me in that month, and He healed me from a lot of that past hurt. The last day I was at the Base, God told me that I was supposed to attend the Bible School this year. It started in 3 weeks. So I became the 4th American in 17 years to ever attend the Bible school at Roca Blanca Missions Base. God has impacted me so greatly through this year, I have gotten into a relationship with the Holy Spirit, and I have been completely changed by the goodness of God!
Thank you Jesus for bringing me out of the pit I had dug for myself, and bringing me to the sweetness of life you intended for me!
Now you know my story, I pray that you would learn from it, and let God guide you into a similar experience if you are hurt and suffering.
God bless you!!!
2 comments:
I love the picture that you chose and the caption. You can't really see your face, just the cross behind you, which is the whole point of your story. It really doesn't matter who you are -- just that God has been faithful!
man, you need to post a blog its been awhile
Post a Comment